Don’t Fix…Just Listen !

 Don't Fix – Just listen ..,  How often have I said this to my students over the years, when trying to develop a less 'fix it' approach to counselling skills.

Sometimes it can appear that that clients problems are all to obvious to us, the inexperienced therapist may have a tendency to 'jump in', fix or rescue'  because after all the problem is obvious ..,. isn't it?

If only it was as simple as that , somtimes we just 'need to be heard or seen' by another to help validate our humanity , some clients will present with issues which seem on the surface easy to fix.  …. 'My partner hits me' … 'Why don't you leave him? ….. I drink to much … Why don't you stop?  seem easy solutions, however by going down this road what you are really doing is blocking or dismissing a clients emotions.

In my experience most people who come to therapy know what the difficulty is , what they want is a safe space to explore their world and gain support in making changes or learning to accept their lives. including the pain.

We all know our 'truths'  pointing them out sometimes does not help as the video below aptly demonstrates , my thanks to Ian Tomlinson for bringing it to my attention, and remember ;

Dont Fix .. Just Listen…….