Open questions are questions that do not have a “yes” or “no” answer.

The counsellor uses open questions to clarify his or her understanding of what the client is feeling.

Open questions:

• may begin with how, what or who
• require an answer other than ‘yes’ or ‘no’
• may be used to gain information (what happened as a result?); explore thoughts, feelings, attitudes and opinions (what were you hoping to achieve?); or consider hypothetical situations (how might you deal with. ..?)

When thinking about asking a client a question, first ask yourself whether the question is necessary.

A basic rule here is to ask a question only if you feel it will:

• clarify your understanding
• help the speaker to explore their own process

For example:

Tutor: “Tom, when you were in the role of speaker, what did Nafiza do as a listener that helped you share your story?”

Open questions, if used respectfully, will help build a trusting relationship where the speaker feels safe to explore what is going on for them.

One final observation: Be very careful with the ‘why’ question, as sometimes this can feel very judgmental and might make you sound like a teacher questioning a child.

Try swapping the word ‘why’ for ‘what’. So instead of saying, ‘Why did you do that?’, ask, ‘What made you do that?’

You will be surprised how much better the conversation flows, and how much more you will both find out!

Rory Lees-Oakes: Questioning is one of the most familiar counselling skills, yet it’s also one of the easiest to misuse. The way we ask questions, and even whether we ask them at all, depends very much on our therapeutic approach and, more importantly, on whose needs the question is serving.

By the end, you’ll be able to explain why questioning serves different purposes across different therapeutic modalities; recognise when questions support the client and when they may satisfy the therapist’s curiosity instead; and identify situations where direct questioning is ethically appropriate, particularly when assessing risk.

Before we dive in, we’ve put together a free PDF called Appropriate Questions in Counselling. You can download it using the link in the description, or simply scan the QR code on screen.

Questioning is something we do naturally in everyday life. We ask questions to gather information, solve problems, and satisfy our curiosity. Because it’s such a familiar way of communicating, it’s easy to assume that asking lots of questions makes us a better counsellor. In practice, though, that’s rarely the case.

Many counselling students begin by asking one question after another. Sessions can end up feeling more like an interview than a therapeutic conversation. While the intention is usually positive, too many questions can interrupt the client’s process and shift the focus away from their experience.

So what makes a question appropriate?

The answer depends largely on the therapeutic modality you’re working within. Let’s start by looking at person-centred therapy. Within the person-centred approach, questions are usually used cautiously and for a clear purpose. Their primary purpose is to support empathic understanding by helping us clarify the client’s frame of reference rather than directing the conversation.

Carl Rogers described empathy as entering the client’s private world and sensing it as they do, without losing the ‘as if’ quality of the relationship. If we become unsure about what the client means, a brief question can help us regain that shared understanding. Imagine a client says, “I went to the market with my mum and my sister, and then she made me really angry.”

At that point, it’s perfectly reasonable to ask, ” I hear you saying that she made you really angry. Can I just check who ‘she’ refers to?” That question isn’t leading the client anywhere new. It’s simply helping you understand their experience accurately. One way you could bring this into your counselling room is by asking yourself a simple question before speaking.

Am I asking this because it helps me understand the client’s experience, or because I want more information?

That distinction is important.

Questions can also be appropriate when we’re trying to clarify something the client has already brought into the room. For example, perhaps you’re reflecting something back and the client responds with a deep sigh.

Rather than making assumptions about what that sigh means, you might say, “I noticed you sighed just then. I wonder what was happening for you in that moment.” Again, the client has introduced something into the therapeutic relationship. You’re simply inviting them to help you understand it.

Now, compare that with a different example.

The client tells you their mother made them angry at the market. You respond, “So how have things been with your mum recently?” Although it sounds like a reasonable question, notice where it comes from. The client hasn’t moved there. You have. The question is driven by your curiosity rather than the client’s immediate frame of reference.

This brings us to a useful question we can ask ourselves before asking any question. Who is this question for? If the answer is, “It’s for me,” it’s worth pausing to consider whether it’s really necessary. Sometimes clients tell us stories that are extraordinary, complex, or completely outside our own experience.

It’s natural to become curious, but therapy isn’t about satisfying our curiosity or gathering interesting details. Our role is to facilitate the client’s exploration, not our own.

So how might this show up in your own practice? You may notice moments where you feel drawn to ask another question simply because you want to know what happened next.

That can be valuable information for supervision. As we’ve been talking about, knowing when to ask a question is just as important as knowing what to ask.

If you’d like a practical summary of these ideas, our free Appropriate Questions in Counselling handout is available to download. Just use the link in the description or scan the QR code.

Next, it’s important to recognise that questioning looks very [00:05:00] different in other therapeutic approaches.

For example, cognitive behavioural therapy deliberately uses structured questioning as part of the therapeutic process. One of the best-known techniques is Socratic questioning.

Rather than telling clients what to think, the therapist asks carefully considered questions that help clients examine their beliefs, assumptions, and patterns of thinking. The approach takes its inspiration from the philosopher Socrates, whose dialogues explored ideas through thoughtful questioning. The idea is often summarised as, “I know that I know nothing,” but that is a later paraphrase rather than a direct quotation. In Plato’s Apology, the underlying idea is that wisdom begins by recognising the limits of our own knowledge.

Within CBT, questions are designed to encourage reflection. A therapist might ask, ” What evidence supports that belief? Is there another way of looking at this situation? What would you say to a friend who felt this way?” Here, the questions are intentionally helping the client examine their thinking.

So although questioning itself is neither good nor bad, its purpose changes according to the theoretical model you’re using.

If you’re practising within a different modality, the questions you ask should always be consistent with the theory that underpins your work. There’s another situation where questioning becomes especially important regardless of modality. That’s when risk is involved. Suppose a client tells you they’re thinking about ending their life.

At that point, simply reflecting their feelings may not be enough. Professional and ethical responsibilities require us to assess risk appropriately. That means asking direct, clear and compassionate questions. For example, have you been thinking about ending your life? Have you made any plans? Have you attempted to take your own life before?

These aren’t questions asked out of curiosity. They’re asked to understand the level of immediate risk so appropriate action can be taken to support the client’s safety. Current guidance supports asking directly about suicide, and NHS England states that sensitive questioning is essential to uncover suicidal thoughts, intentions, plans, and past behaviours.

Direct suicide inquiry is recommended in risk assessment and is not considered harmful when asked sensitively and appropriately. Instead, it can create an opportunity for honest conversation and appropriate support. If you’re unsure about risk assessment or how to balance this with your therapeutic orientation, discuss this in supervision and follow your organisation’s safeguarding procedures.

Finally, there’s one more point that’s worth remembering. Questions don’t just gather information. They can also change where the client’s attention goes. When a client is deeply engaged with their emotions, perhaps they’re experiencing grief, sadness, or fear in the here and now, a question can unintentionally shift them from feeling into thinking.

Instead of remaining with their emotional experience, they may begin analysing or explaining it. That’s why questions such as, “Have you tried…? Have you thought about…? Why don’t you…?” can sometimes interrupt rather than deepen the therapeutic process, particularly within person-centred work.

In practice, you might notice that a well-intentioned question changes the pace of the session.

The client stops experiencing and starts problem-solving. Sometimes that’s appropriate, sometimes it isn’t. The key is understanding why you’re asking the question and whether it serves the client’s process at that particular moment. To bring this together, questioning is a powerful counselling skill, but it’s never just about the words we use.

The same question can be helpful in one modality and unhelpful in another. Effective questioning starts with understanding your theoretical approach, staying connected to the client’s frame of reference, and continually asking yourself whose needs the question is serving.

The main points to take away are these: questions should always have a clear therapeutic purpose.

Different modalities use questioning in different ways, and that’s entirely appropriate. Within person-centred practice, questions are generally used to support empathic understanding rather than direct the session. Risk assessment is an important exception, where clear and direct questions are part of safe, ethical practice.

And perhaps the most useful question of all is one you ask yourself before speaking: who is this question really for?

If you’d like to explore this topic further, don’t forget to download our free Appropriate Questions in Counselling PDF. You’ll find the download link in the description, or you can simply scan the QR code on screen.

Taking time to reflect on that question can strengthen your therapeutic presence and help ensure your interventions remain focused on the client’s needs. Thank you for watching, and I’ll see you in the next video.

In the meantime, if you’d like more free resources on counselling and psychotherapy, feel free to look at our YouTube channel or our website counsellingtutor.com