352 – Talking Honestly About Switching Supervisors

Grandparent Alienation – Navigating Challenges with Tutors

In Episode 352 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly take us through this week’s three topics:

Firstly, in ‘Ethical, Sustainable Practice’, we explore the nuances of switching supervisors, including when change is necessary and how to manage transitions ethically and professionally.

Then in ‘Practice Matters’, Rory speaks with Dr. Suzanne Degges-White about the deeply emotional issue of grandparent alienation – a growing concern with long-term implications for clients and families.

And finally, in ‘Student Services’, Rory and Ken address how to navigate challenges with tutors, a topic frequently raised by students facing difficulties in training environments.

Talking Honestly About Switching Supervisors [starts at 03:15 mins]

This section explores when and why counsellors might consider switching supervisors and how to approach this decision ethically and with confidence.

Key points discussed include:

• Changing supervisors is a natural part of a counsellor’s development and not a sign of failure or disloyalty.
• Repetition without growth, lack of freshness, or misalignment in specialisms can indicate it’s time for a change.
• A managed ending ensures continuity of supervision and safeguards ethical standards.
• Discussing the transition with your current supervisor can lead to supportive and mutual decisions.
• Paul Cullen, Counselling Tutor’s supervision correspondent, shares insights on how supervisors and supervisees can navigate this change with openness and courage.
• Reflective questions can help assess supervision fit, such as: Is this relationship still supporting my professional growth?

Grandparent Alienation [starts at 36:04 mins]

In this week’s ‘Practice Matters’, Rory speaks with Dr. Suzanne Degges-White, who shares her research and clinical insights into grandparent alienation – when grandparents are cut off from contact with their grandchildren.

Key points from this conversation include:

• Grandparent alienation often arises from fractured relationships between adult children and their parents.
• Political differences, perceived abuse, and societal changes are common triggers.
• The loss experienced is often ambiguous, ongoing, and filled with grief and shame.
• Children also suffer developmental and emotional consequences when denied access to grandparents.
• Therapists can support clients by validating loss, helping reconstruct identity, and working with meaning-making and boundaries.
• Intergenerational healing is possible through empathy, family therapy, and creating new ways to maintain symbolic connections.

Further reading:

• “The Painful Experiences of Alienated Grandparents” (Psychology Today) — provides qualitative insights into the lived experience of being a grandparent cut off from grandchildren. psychologytoday.com

• “Grandparent Report (November 2024)” (Kirklees Safeguarding Children) — explores the challenges grandparents face in maintaining relationships with grandchildren and offers recommendations for support. kirkleessafeguardingchildren.co.uk

• “Why Grandparent Alienation Is a Loss Unlike Any Other” (Psychology Today) — examines the emotional impact and family dynamics surrounding grandparent alienation. psychologytoday.com

• “13 Tactics Families Use to Alienate Grandparents” (Psychology Today) — outlines common behaviours that contribute to alienation and ways to recognise them. psychologytoday.com

• “Contact with Your Grandchild if Their Parents Divorce or Separate” (UK Government Guidance) — outlines legal rights, contact options, and available support for grandparents. gov.uk

Journal article:

Degges-White, S., Hermann-Turner, K., Kepic, M., Randolph, A., & Killam, W. (2024). Grandparent Alienation: A Mixed Method Exploration of Life Satisfaction and Help-Seeking Experiences of Grandparents Alienated From Their Grandchildren. The Family Journal, 0(0). https://doi.org/10.1177/10664807241282432

Navigating Challenges with Tutors [starts at 01:01:53 mins]

In this section, Rory and Ken explore how to approach tutor conflicts during counselling training.

Key points include:

• Difficult tutor relationships may stem from transference, past schooling experiences, or current dynamics.
• Speaking directly with the tutor in a respectful way is often the first and best step.
• If unresolved, learning institutions have formal complaints procedures to protect students’ rights.
• Peer support and supervision can offer perspective and clarity when navigating tutor issues.
• Tutors, like students, are human and sometimes face challenges outside the classroom – open dialogue encourages mutual understanding.
• You can change providers between levels if necessary – you’re investing in your education and deserve appropriate support.

Links and Resources

Counselling Skills Academy

Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision

Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide

Counsellor CPD

Counselling Study Resource

Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide

Counselling Tutor Training and CPD

Facebook group

Website

Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner’s Guide

Online and Telephone Counselling Course