316 – See the Individual, Not the Label

Child Abuse in Online Interactions – Listen to Understand, Not to Respond

In Episode 316 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly are back with this week’s three topics:

• Firstly in ‘Ethical, Sustainable Practice’, continuing with our new focus on neurodivergence we’ll look at how to see the individual, not the label.
• Then in ‘Practice Matters’, Rory speaks with Catherine Knibbs about how seemingly innocent online interactions can lead to child abuse.
• And lastly in ‘Student Services’, Rory and Ken look at listening to understand, not listening to respond.

See the Individual, Not the Label [starts at 04:16 mins]

Having a unique and tailored approach can become even more important to remember when working with neurodivergent clients. It’s important to remember that a certain diagnosis or stereotype cannot represent everyone.

The main points of this discussion include:

• Traits that appear in some people won’t appear in others – it’s not one size fits all.
• Acknowledge that people are different in the way they think and process – see the individual, not the label and acknowledge the difficulties it might bring.
• Give the space to listen and understand.
• As a counsellor, having the knowledge of what to look out for and what to be sensitive to, can really aid somebody.
• We’re not there to diagnose.
• Your interventions need to be tailored and unique to each client.
• Be open to making accommodations to suit each client.
• There isn’t one model that suits all people.
• Reflect on your own attitude towards autistic people, do you carry any stereotypes?
• Think about what challenges an autistic client might experience in the therapy room, how could you help with these?

Child Abuse in Online Interactions [starts at 31:19 mins]

In this week’s ‘Practice Matters’, Rory speaks with Catherine Knibbs about how seemingly innocent online interactions can lead to child abuse.

The key points of this section include:

• Pictures of non-sexual body parts, such as feet, hands, elbows, necks, etc., are not illegal to take, send, or ask for. However, it’s important for there to be awareness around the intention behind asking for such images, and where it might lead.
• Receiving a monetary reward for something that isn’t breaking the law, can open the door for further coercion or blackmail.
• Nude images are being traded, stored, sold, and shared non-consensually.
• AI is now being used to create nude images.
• Children can’t consent to their own abuse.

Listen to Understand, Not to Respond [starts at 59:02 mins]

Active listening is a key skill for any counsellor. Listen as Rory and Ken discuss what it means to listen to understand, not just to respond:

• Listening to understand speaks to empathy.
• Throughout school, we’re taught to listen to respond.
• It’s understanding where a person is coming from instead of waiting for a gap to respond.
• Active listening is like a muscle that feels flexing and working on.
• 90% of a session can be spent actively listening.
• Active listening means seeing the entire presentation of the speaker, not just what they’re saying – is there anything that shows in the tone of their voice or their body language? Are they clenching their jaw or wringing their hands? Where are they looking?
• SOLER:
  • Sit facing the person.
  • Open your body position.
  • Lean forward to some extent.
  • Eye contact where appropriate.
  • Relax
• Try practising your active listening – tune in next time someone is talking to you and really listen to what they’re telling you. Journal about your interactions and recognise when you were truly absorbing what the other person was saying.

Links and Resources

• Counselling Skills Academy
• Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision
• Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide
• Counsellor CPD
• Counselling Study Resource
• Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide
• Counselling Tutor Shop
• Facebook group
• Website
• Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner’s Guide
• Online and Telephone Counselling Course