210 – Erotic Transference in Therapy
Attending in Counselling – Crying with Your Client
In Episode 210 of the Counselling Tutor Podcast, your hosts Rory Lees-Oakes and Ken Kelly discuss this week’s three topics:
- In this episode’s ‘Counselling Foundations’, we look at attending when a client first arrives.
- Next in ‘Focus on Self’, Rory and Ken discuss crying with your client.
- And lastly in ‘Practice Matters’, Rory speaks with Sally Openshaw on erotic transference in therapy.
Attending in Counselling [starts in 1:35 mins]
Greeting your client when they first arrive can be a crucial but forgotten step of the counselling process and in this section, Rory and Ken discuss some of the ways you can fulfill this initial interaction and the reasons it can be deemed so important:
- Making sure your client is comfortable.
- Human to human interaction, checking in with your client.
- Normalising the environment in order to create the safest space possible.
- Active attending – being present.
Crying with Your Client [starts in 9:55 mins]
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Sometimes the material a client brings with them can be emotionally provoking, and being able to deal with this in a professional manner is important.
The key points discussed on this topic include:
- Empathy is natural.
- Tears express emotion – both the good and the bad.
- Be aware of where this emotion is coming from – is it empathy or transference? Ask yourself if your tears are for your client or for your own situation.
- Think about what your tears will say to your client.
- Recognise the difference between shedding a tear and bursting into tears – be aware of what you can handle, explore this in supervision.
- Welcome the emotion, but in a professional and informed manner.
Erotic Transference in Therapy [starts in 20:37 mins]
This week, Rory speaks with Sally Openshaw on erotic transference. The key points outlined in this discussion include:
- Erotic transference in therapy shouldn’t be ignored – you need to know how to manage it.
- As a therapist, we set up the perfect environment for erotic transference.
- Learning the importance of your initial reaction and how you can develop this in order to deal with it better.
- Talk about it in supervision or in peer groups.
Free Handout Download
The Skill of Attending
Links and Resources
Advanced Certificate in Counselling Supervision
Basic Counselling Skills: A Student Guide
Counselling Theory in Practice: A Student Guide
Online and Telephone Counselling: A Practitioner’s Guide